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A mixed day today.

Hi again.
Today started off badly because we’ve a new supervisor at work & she’s very compulsive, everything has to be clean & tidy. I had thought that she was going to have a go at me today because I’m such a messy pup! Fortunately for me though this supervisor maybe strict but she’s got a heart of gold, so she was nice to me afterall. I was dreading going into work today though, as I had thought that I might even get fired for not keeping my area clean but the supervisor was very understanding.
One thing that pissed me off today was this other staff member who often picks on me. She is often sarcastic to me & is often abrupt when she talks to me. I think that she’s an alcoholic, as sarcasm & dumping onto other people (being abrupt) is how drunks behave. I have spent time in Alanon so I am aware of this fact. I’ve just got to accept that that’s how she is & changing my job & running away from her won’t solve a thing because I’ll only run in to someone else like her, at my next job (yep alcoholics are everywhere). In fact I left a job 8 years ago because I was being harassed by an alcoholic, & now, in my next job, the same thing is happening! This person did put a damper on my otherwise good day, with her put downs of me.
I had one glass of wine tonight & no more. I did feel like having another glass but that was only a mild desire & was not a craving. There is a difference. Although denial is a cunning thing, I’ll swear that my cravings are virtually all but history (If I do still have the odd craving, I’m sure that it will eventually disppear in the coming months because I know that I’m getting on top of my drinking problem).
Till next time,
Good bye.

What a day!

Man, what an awful day at work I had! I am still recovering from my alcoholism. Although my compulsive drinking has abated (I haven’t had any alcohol in the last two nights, nor have I had any urges to do so) my moods are still swinging. It’s probably going to take a month, or two, for my moods to settle down. As a result of my moodiness, my day was unpleasant.
I seem to be able to take, or leave, drinking now without a hitch. This is great news for me, as I was bingeing a bit in the latter part of my drinking career, sometimes going a few days without booze but then coming back to it again. The only real difference between how I’m feeling now, & how I was feeling two months ago, is the little niggle to drink is no longer in my head. In other words the pain which was in my head, on and off, has now totally gone away.
I know that my drinking is still abusive at times (I drank 3 litres of wine in the weekend), the fact that the pain in my head has gone now means, as far as I’m concerned, that I am no longer “driven” to drink but just drink because I “want” to, as opposed to “needing” to. I believe in “Harm Reduction” as opposed to total abstinance.
Thanks for reading.

Hello everyone.

I am feeling okay today, just okay.

I have some Naltrexone in my cupboard, as I thought that I may take it to curb my drinking, as about 2 years ago I was drinking about 2 bottles of wine every night. I did that for 3 months and received some liver damage. My drinking hasn’t been as bad since then but I have had some weeks where I’ve been drinking every night. Anyway I haven’t taken any of the Naltrexone as I’m finding that I don’t feel the need to drink anymore. This feeling of not “needing” to drink has been with me for about 3 weeks now, I know that that isn’t long but I can tell that my mind has gone through some fundamental changes, and that has been due to my work with affirmations. I have always believed that alcoholism is caused by faulty thinking & I believe that I have thought myself out of it.

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